The phenomenological inquiry into a real experience is often rhetorical, discursive, reflective. Much of phenomenological discussion attempts to describe or represent lived experience, undertakes to capture it, record the event of it. This thesis presents a methodological practice of reflexivity and considers writing not only a tool of research, but writing as research, a kinesthetic survey of the phenomenological underpinnings of a qualitative inquiry into a live self-authoring experience Rather then describing the process of writing it seeks to catch the moment of it in its duration, a vital contact with the instant of articulation of a corporeal discourse, whereby the process catches the writer at a threshold folding over to the non-symbolic relationship of the body and langauge, a proprioceptively oriented, phenomenologically situated event of self-authoring as well as experience of a variety of temporal rhythms and the dynamic reciprocity wherby the self is organized around a text that comes from the body in a pre-reflective moment. In this text, the ontological positioning of the self is dispersed, experienced, absorbed and motivated by the intra/inter subjective relationship between the self and language. The movements that reside in the subtle bodily, fleshy, visceral shifts in writing proprioceptively are interrogated as the first motivators, the primary motile gestures that activate subsequent intra/inter subjectivity. Primarily about a relationship to language, this thesis attempts to generate text proprioceptively, it seeks the moment of writing that yields to bodily imperatives, that holds the sensuousness of the lived moment at the threshold of duration. It is an exploration of philosophical expressive aesthetics that comes from the moment of somatic intuitive kinesthetic impulse that reflects both visceral carnality of the moment of knowing as well as an intellectual decision, a matter of bodily knowing and intellectual aesthetics. Here the relationality to words spans both the carnal and intellectual. Written from the body and its experience lived in the moment of the writing infuses the master narrative of the traditional academic genre and provides space for renewed questioning, opening up the structure of the text to other possibilities of knowing.
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