BECOMING VIDYA: A narrative inquiry into loss, identity, and reflection in the liminal space of nursing and being

This dissertation is a narrative inquiry presented through the form of a creative non-fiction novel. Grounded in reflective self-study, it weaves together personal encounters and professional experiences as a patient, nurse, educator, daughter, and wife. Through storytelling, I examine how these roles intersect within liminal spaces, social, emotional, and organizational, and how they contribute to the complexity of identity formation and self-understanding. The daily balancing act of navigating societal expectations while preserving one's spirit reveals the ongoing tension between adaptation and authenticity. My deep connection to story, nurtured through a lifelong love of literature, has shaped the way I make meaning of my world. Stories have been both refuge and mirror, helping me see myself through the lives of fictional characters, often reflecting struggles and truths I could not yet name. This literary sensibility informs the structure and methodology of this dissertation, allowing for a layered and emotionally resonant exploration of the human condition. Drawing from my background as a child of South-Asian immigrants and my lived experience with infertility, I use narrative as a method of inquiry into identity, care, and selfhood. This novel dissertation offers a creative juxtaposition between the realities of personal struggle and professional practice, particularly within nursing and education. It explores the nuanced challenges of caring, both for others and for oneself, within systems that often undervalue emotional labor and vulnerability. The findings illuminate the fragile beauty of navigating in-between spaces, where identity is always becoming. By revealing how one lives and practices in these liminal spaces, this work invites nurses, educators, and other care practitioners to reconsider what it means to care deeply and live authentically in both professional and personal spheres. This dissertation is an offering, a call to see the world through another's eyes, to embrace the richness of narrative as a form of knowledge, and to honor the shared vulnerability that binds us in our human experience.