An experience of uplifting terror

I began my research at the St.Mary's Residential School that my family attended. I was seeking to understand myself in relation to my family history. As a contemporary Xwelmewx person, I sought to learn about this place as a place of disconnect while still being present in our territory of S'ólh Téméxw. I felt completely weird while on the former St. Mary's grounds. In trying to understand this experience, my research has led me to learn about the ideas of the Indigenous Gothic. While there are some overlaps between other forms of non-Indigenous Gothic theory, in these examples, Indigenous people are often represented in the background of settler experience, or as a part of a haunting, as a monstrosity, part of the settler shame or an aspect of the uncanny in nature. However, in my artwork, I hope to invoke my lived Gothic experience.